Nothin’ Much Happens

[Intro]
Nothing much happens on a Monday
Nothing much happens on a Tuesday
I get paid on a Wednesday
And by the weekend, it's all gone

[Verse 1]
It's not a reason to grieve but people seem to believe
I got cash in the bank and a schedule to keep
When really days are being wasted in the same way my talents are
Smoking blunts, tearing months off the calendar
The fallacies of valour aren't all I crack 'em up to be
I'm not exactly living in the lap of luxury
The Butterfingers company is run with petty cash
I got more time to kill then the aphids on your veggie patch
The local Eddie Nash without the ready stash
I'm getting fat enough, to crap I need a medivac
How pathetic's that? I'm lounging 'round
Till the point where I’ve gain about a thousand pounds
I wear a gown to town against reasonable advice
You should see me squeeze into a seat aboard a flight
I even need the jaws of life to access my dick
So I can (Wash myself with a rag on a stick, because)

[Chorus]
Nothing much happens on a Monday (Monday)
Nothing much happens on a Tuesday (Tuesday)
I get paid on a Wednesday (Wednesday)
And by the weekend, it's all gone (All gone)
Nothing much happens on a Monday (Monday)
Nothing much happens on a Tuesday (Tuesday)
I get paid on a Wednesday (Wednesday)
And by the weekend, it's all gone (All gone)

[Verse 2]
So now I live for television and I'm livid if I'm miss and hour
Watching more soaps than Gary Glitter in the prison shower
When his visiting hour's well and truly finished
And he just missed his conjugal visit by five minutes
I admit, I'm not an avid reader It gives me cabin fever
Foaming lips like your mother’s rabid beaver
If I don't have to see a man about a dog
I'm just (Chilling) like a picnic at Hanging Rock

[Bridge]
I’m not locked in a cage but my days are bound
To be wasted away while I'm blazing pounds
Cause I raze ‘em down to a hazy cloud
To be amazed by the ways I can laze around
In the same place, through the rains and drought
Looking for a way to escape the house
But why face the crowds just to trapse about
When I could stay here in the lounge and embrace the couch?

[Verse 3]
So basically, I’ve lazily meandered through
A few years, making use of that standard excuse
That if the world is my oyster and the point is to be hell rich
Blame my salary on allergy to shellfish
And well-wishers think my days are action packed
And I need a humvee to carry bags of cash
But the fact is that 'cause apathy is fattening
I gotta get up, get out and get something happening

[Chorus]
Nothing much happens on a Monday (Monday)
Nothing much happens on a Tuesday (Tuesday)
I get paid on a Wednesday (Wednesday)
And by the weekend, it's all gone (All gone)
Nothing much happens on a Monday (Monday)
Nothing much happens on a Tuesday (Tuesday)
I get paid on a Wednesday (Wednesday)
And by the weekend, it's all gone (All gone)

[Outro]
Nothing much happens on a Monday (Nothing happens)
Nothing much happens on a Tuesday (On a Monday)
I get paid on a Wednesday (Nothing happens)
And by the weekend, it's all gone (And it's all)
(All gone)
Nothing much happens on a Monday (Nothing happens)
Nothing much happens on a Tuesday (On a Monday)
I get paid on a Wednesday (Nothing happens)
And by the weekend, it's all gone (And it's all)
(All gone)