Figjam (Clean)

I woke up this morning, but I didn't wake
'Til the afternoon, because i slept in late
With a great mental state and a date with destiny
I rolled down the block without a copper even stressin' me
Let alone arrestin' me or giving me a ticket
It's coming into summer, and the weather's bloody wicked
So I figured I'd be hitting the beach
Look at skinny-dipper's swimming and get something to eat
After half a pound of chips and a flounder burger
I was sitting on the grass like a council worker
Reminiscing about being ticked off about
My house burning down to the ground, and being out on the street
Before my change of fortune
Now I score tunes, don't get up before noon
said your mama's well ahead of the mob
And it's better than heading to my dead-end job
Because the boss was a blockhead when I was a clerk
So I clocked him – and now I don't work
It's beautiful day, and I can use the cliche,
coz
I am the greatest! (..like Cassius Clay)

I got the world at my feet, and my toe jam's nasty
(Figjam!)
Feel insanely good, just ask me
I couldn't give a shit about your corporate hierachy
(Figjam!)
Feel insanely good, just ask me

I can't believe how dope I am, I'm the everloving man
I can't believe how dope I am, I'm the everloving man
I can't believe how dope I am, I'm the everloving man
I can't believe how dope I am, I'm the everloving man

I rock around in trucker-thongs
Cussing at the currawongs
When I’m out of money for my durrey I just chuck em on
Tick 'Cause I'm Brit Pop, all the way to hip hop
I get so plastered, you'd think I'm drinking gyp-rock
I'm a big shot, no matter how you look at it
And my lyrics make you wanna read the book-a-lit'
Dope – 'cause I'm cooking it right like the iron chef!
That's why I'm def now to the high clef

(Figjam!)
My raps are fat, like Chief Wiggum and the fact
They never lack it's like a magic pack of Tim Tams
We're the bees knees and you’re stuck, and I don't give a damn
So good on the cut
They should call me Edward Scissorhands

So give a hand to me and my associates
(You suck!) Well that's just inappropriate
Smoke me a kipper, kids
I'm from the Ip-a, switch
Side of town, don't forget to write it down
‘Westside’ What the heck this ain't gangster rap!
Think you're tougher, then ya probably suffer angler’s cramp
And I'll thank you to shove right off
Professional dimwits, take one night off

I'm Evil Eddie with a rock-steady microphone mastery
(Figjam!)
Feel insanely good, just ask me
As a concept your intellect can't grasp me
(Figjam!)
Feel insanely good, just ask me

I can't believe how dope I am, I'm the motherfucking man
I can't believe how dope I am, I'm the motherfucking man
I can't believe how dope I am, I'm the motherfucking man
I can't believe how dope I am, I'm the motherfucking man

I got the stylin’ profile, without the help of rhinoplasty
(Figjam!)
Fuck i'm good, just ask me
Getting blasted in the chart, but you can't class me
(Figjam!)
Fuck i'm good, just ask me
I just had a meeting with ya mama and your aunty
(Figjam!)
Fuck i'm good, just ask me
And they're coming back this arv' for the big after party
(Figjam!)
I stand bigger than a wigwam!
And you can see me easily three feet above a teepee
If you are getting very sleepy, wake up
(This country needs a shake up)

I'm a jet-setter, go-getter, but I got a vendetta
Just got a death threat over the phone
Better go lay low, underground, like a bilby
(Figjam!)
Chill man, people wanna kill me!
But I don't let that bulldust sweat me
I'm at yo mama's if you wanna come and get me,
You shady mutt. I may be stuck
In a crazy situation but I'm favoured by lady luck
You wanna stop me? You'd wanna do it properly
[Blam blam]
Oh God, somebody shot me.